Battle of Wits... Or At Least Rocket Launchers
Written
by Naoshi
and
Magnus
(It's been a few weeks after the incident with Mega Man and Hasselhoff. The Fatal Five take their seats in a room deep within Wily's fortress to review their previous missions and devise new plans to eliminate the Seven Mercenaries.)
Riff:
Alright...
We've
noticed
all of our
plans have
been a
complete
failure.
So much a
failure
that NOT
even the
7M notices
us.
Karasū:
And whose
fault is
that?
*shoots a
look at
Warp Man*
Riff:
Exactly!
Warp
Man:
Oh, shut
up! Lento
screwed up
that last
one with
Hasselhoff!
Lento:
Lento did
what Warp
Man told
Lento to
do.......
Riff:
And hiring
a HUMAN
of
all beings
to get rid
of the 7
Mercs!
What
kind of a
plan was
that?!
Warp
Man:
Hey, he
had a
vendetta
and I
didn't
expect
Mega Man
to show
up!
Karasū:
He has a
point, for
once.
Staccato:
I doth
agree. Sir
Mega Man
is quite
the worthy
adversary.
Riff:
Oh and the
7 Mercs
aren't as
strong? My
point
still
stands.
Warp
Man:
Whatever.
Riff:
*sighs*
Wily is
gonna kill
us once he
finds out
we've been
using
his Red
Sniper
Joes.
Okay,
let's do a
little
recap on
our recent
plans
excluding
Hasselhoff.
Remember
when
we all had
a separate
plan of
our own?
Karasū:
Oh yeah.
That plan
was the
worst.
Riff:
I thought
it would
have
worked
seeing
as how
Warp and
Lento
always
screw up
our plans,
especially
when they
mess
with
my plans!
In
speaking
of...I
would like
to hear
something
from you,
Warp Man.
You never
told us
what was
your
solo-plan.
(Flashback)
Warp
Man(voiceover):
It was a
simple
bait and
switch. I
was going
to
bait them
to where
Lento was
going to
fall, thus
allowing
him to
crush
them all,
if not
more then
4.
Warp
Man:
Alright,
the bait's
ready,
Lento
should be
getting
into
position
right
about
now.....
Naoshi:
*is
holding a
map of
Megalopolis
while
mumbling*
Stupid
Hunter...
wants me
to find
the stupid
mall all
alone....
(Warp Man notices Naoshi is the only one outside)
Warp
Man:
Crap. Only
one?! Oh
well. Time
to-
Lento:
LENTO
SMASH!
*falls on
Warp Man,
just as
Staccato
&
Karasu
jump out
of the
bushes*
Staccato:
I doth
haveth no
idea what
just
transpired...
Karasū:
*is
laughing
himself to
death*
Naoshi:
*doesn't
notice
their
existence
as he
continues
walking*
(End Flashback)
Riff:
...I
thought
yours was
suppose to
be a
solo-plan!
Warp
Man:
Hey, it's
not my
fault
Lento
thinks out
loud.
Riff:
Do you
even know
what a
solo-plan
is?
Warp
Man:
*mumbles
to
himself*
Riff:
What about
you,
Karasū?
How was
your
solo-plan?
Karasū:
I didn't
have one.
I was just
going to
ambush
them.
Riff:
...
Karasū:
Quite
ironically,
at the
same place
Warp was
smashed.
Riff:
.
.
.
Staccato:
My plan
had a
small
portion of
stealth to
it. I was
going
to try and
grab
Enker,
then pose
as him.
Riff:
YOU
ALL
ARE
FAILURES!
Warp
Man:
What was
YOUR plan
if you're
so high
and
mighty,
eh?
Bass:
*walks in*
What the
hell are
you morons
up to now?
Karasū:
Shut up,
Bass.
Bass:
Oh, that's
right.
I've
overheard
you all.
Yeah, you
all
failed so
badly that
you make
Team
Rocket
look like
geniuses.
Riff:
WHAT WAS
THAT?!
Bass:
You heard
me.
Karasū:
Cyros hit
you with
the Time
Stopper
during one
of his
'Pokemon
marathon
runs',
didn't he?
Bass:
...Shut
up. The
horror...
Karasū:
*smirk*
Riff:
Haha, you
suck.
Bass:
Is that
so? Then
what WAS
your plan,
Riff?
Riff:
... I
um...
Lento:
Lento want
to know
Riff
plan.....
Bass:
Nothing?
You
thought
nothing?
Riff:
*stays
silent*
...
Bass:
Really
disappointing.
You're the
brainiac
of this
foolish
team
and yet
you've
THOUGHT
nothing?
Warp
Man:
Meh. He
was
probably
going to
mooch off
of the
work the
rest
of us did.
Riff:
Goto hell,
Warp
Man.
Staccato:
How good
haveth
your plans
to destroy
Sir Mega
Man been
doing,
Sir Bass?
Bass:
Why you...
Riff:
Hahaha.
Bass:
Shut up!
Atleast
Mega Man
knows of
my
existance,
unlike you
guys. I
would like
to see you
ALL do
better.
Infact, I
can bet
you guys I
can do
better at
getting
rid of the
Mercs than
you
all or
atleast
get their
attention.
Lento:
Lento
thinks
Unit Bass'
idea
is stupid.
Riff:
Lento,
don't you
realize
something?
We have a
chance to
prove
we're
better
than Bass!
Karasū:
So?
Riff:
We will be
recognized
if we beat
Bass! Just
think of
what Wily
would
promote us
to! Warp
Man,
what's
your
opinion on
the idea?
Yay
or nay?
Warp
Man:
I'm
willing to
go for it
as long as
Lento
stays FAR
away.
Bass:
Then it
begins! We
all have
an hour to
come up
with a
plan. The
closest to
get the
Mercs'
defeat
wins!
Staccato:
I will
admit Sir
Bass is
not a fool
if he
outwiteth
Sir Riff.
However,
if Sir
Bass
loses, I
will fight
him if he
wishes.
Bass:
It's on
then!
*teleports
to the
city*
Staccato:
I'm not
taking
part of
the
contest
just so
thou know.
Riff:
Your loss.
Karasū:
More
like
YOUR loss.
Only you
and Warp
Man are
going
through
with this,
not us
three.
Riff:
Fine. If
you all
need me,
I'll be
somewhere
in
Megalopolis.
Oh
wait...
DON'T EVEN
BOTHER!
*teleports*
Lento:
Lento want
to help
Riff!
(Meanwhile at the city)
Riff:
*panicking*
I can't
think of a
new plan!
I ran out
of decent
ideas long
ago!
What
am I gonna
do?! What
am I gonna
do?! What
am I gonna
do?! What
am I
gonn-...hey.
*spots
Warp
Man*
Warp
Man:
*appears
on top of
a tall
building,
right next
to the one
Riff is
on*
Riff:
Hmm... I
wonder
what he is
up to.
Warp
Man:
Now, to
implement
my genius
plan!
*totally
doesn't
notice
Riff*
Riff:
Pfft, I
would like
to see how
it'd go.
Lento(over
Com):
Unit Riff
want Lento
help?
Riff:
...If you
want.
(What have
I
done...?)
Lento:
Lento do
best!
*Lento
teleports
next to
riff*
Riff:
That was
quick...
for you.
Lento:
What plan?
Riff:
Er...
Lento:
Unit Riff
no
have plan?
Riff:
Of course
I do! I
just...
Lento:
Lento have
idea.
Riff:
Really?!
Tell me
Lento:
Try and
trick
Unit
Mercenaries
to let
down their
guard.
Riff:
...Elaborate.
Lento:
Lento not
good at
details.
Riff:
We're
doomed.
Warp
Man:
*is
building
something,
like a Tom
&
Jerry
style
over-the-top
complicated
device*
Almost
there...
Lento:
Maybe
Lento can
back
Mercenaries
into
corner for
Riff to
finish
off!
Riff:
We need
more
details.
How are
you gonna
corner
them and
how am
I gonna a
finish
them off?
Lento:
Lento
thought
Unit Riff
could
figure
out, since
Unit Riff
smart.
Riff:
Aha! I
remember
building a
machine
the other
day! I'll
get to
it ASAP!
Lento:
Lento wait
here.
Riff:
Good!
*teleports*
(Meanwhile)
Bass:
*is
grumbling
to
himself*
(Whoops, wrong place.)
(Staccato and Karasu are playing Halo 2 against a team of 4 people)
Karasū:
Nice move.
Staccato:
Thank you,
Sir
Karasu!
(Staccato kills another member of the red team with the beam sword.)
????: ****!!!! DIE!!!!!
Karasu: Oh, I think you made him mad. Cover me, I'm going for the rockets!
Riff:
Hey guys
have you
seen my
wea-Lento:
*teleports
in aswell*
Fatal Five
playing
Halo 2
without
Lento?!
*goes to
pick up a
controller*Riff:
HEY! NO!
LENTO!
...Bah,
who needs
you
anyways? I
found my
weapon
now. Time
to show it
off to the
idiots
before
attacking
the
Mercenaries.(Meanwhile...)
Warp
Man:
AH-HA!
It's done!
Bass:
*sees Warp
Man and
spots the
complicated
creation*
Sigh...
What the
hell is
that
thing?
Warp
Man:
*is
looking
contently
at his
creation*
The
implement
of your
defeat!
*presses
button*
*tick*
Bass:
My defeat?
Are you
sure it'd
still be
able to
have
enough
energy
for the 7M
after
using it?
*tick*
Warp
Man:
...I
haven't
really
thought of
that.
*tick*
Bass:
...You
suck.
*runs
away*
Riff:
*teleports
to back
the spot
he was
once at*
Hello
losers! I
found my
ultimate
weapon
against
the
Mercenaries...wait
why is
your
machine
overhea-
*BOOM!*
(Riff and Warp Man gets blown sky high, same to Bass who didn't ran fast enough)
(Back at the F5; it appears that the whole time the other Fatal Five were playing against the 7Mercs in a Halo game. Unfortunately, the F5 didn't recognize them being the 7Mercs)
Game Voice: GAME OVER. Green Team wins.
Hunter's
Voice:
Good game,
Red Team.
Lento:
Fun
game!
Fatal Fi-
*static
and the
microphone
bursts as
Lento
doesn't
notice* ve
had great
time!
Naoshi's
Voice:
Er...What
did he
say?
Fatal...F...Something?
I think
something
went wrong
with the
microphones
of
theirs.
Shinobu's
Voice:
Maybe
it's
Pentabulous
Five?
Naoshi's
Voice:
Fivey
Five?
Hunter's
Voice:
Must be
just one
of those
random
gamers.
(Riff teleports in all battle damaged)
Riff:
I give up!
We will
never take
down the
7Mercs or
even get
their
attention!
(Bass enters the room too all damaged)
Bass:
...I am
never
gonna go
anywhere
near you
morons
again...
Lento:
Unit
Lento had
a fun game
with
Karasu and
Staccato!
We played
against 4
people
named
"Naoshi32x"
"Hunter
Comiemerc"
"Shinobu1286"
and
"IgaWoodBuster"!
Riff:
...
Lento:
Huh?
Riff:
...THOSE
WERE
THE
MERCENARIES!!!
ARGH!!
Bass:
What?!
You guys
were the
closest to
getting
the Mercs,
even if
you didn't
intentionally
took part!
Screw
this, I
need to
take a
rest, this
huge dent
on my head
is killing
me!
*stomps
out of the
room*
Karasū:
Well, that
works...
Warp
Man:
*is only a
head and
gets
stomped
on when
Bass
leaves the
room*
I hate my
life.
Karasū:
And we
hate your
life, too.
Lento:
Bass
forgot to
fight
Staccato....
Staccato:
Meh. I
doth not
care.
Warp
Man:
...Anyone
gonna help
me get a
new body?!
*sees Riff
loom over
him*
...Riff...please
old buddy
pal?
Riff:
Haha!
Look, it's
Warp
"Head"
Man!
*kicks him
out of the
window*
Karasū:
...Warp
"Head"
Man?
*raises
left
eyebrow
while not
entertained*
THE
END