Meet
the Fatal
Five
Written by Hunter-Chameleon (Quint)
(A new day starts calmly at the Marauder. Everyone is having a nice sleep – for now...)
(Our story begins in Kayorei’s room. She’s still sleeping. When...)
Hunter:
(through a
mic) Hem,
testing.
1, 2. 1,
2. Do you
hear me,
all?
Kayorei:
(slowly
awakening)
Hmm?Hunter:
WAKE
UUUUUUUP!!!!!Kayorei:
Yeaargh!
(falls of
her
bed)Hunter:
Okay,
everyone.
We need
you right
now in the
Testing
room.(The exact same scene happened in the other rooms. Five angry Mercs are now heading to the Lab parts, with a wish to put Hunter’s head on a spike... Clever move, boy)
Iga:
Told you,
Hunter.
Even the
narrator
agrees it
was a bad
idea.Hunter:
Meh. It
was this,
or waiting
another
hour.(The doors opened, quickly followed by a blow of disparate projectiles, all aimed at our green Megaman look-alike)
Iga:
(hidden
behind a
table)
0_0.
Lucky, I
was.
Naoshi:
(with
a
murderous
expression)
That takes
care of
Moron
N°1.
Shinobu:
(eyes
glowing a
fiery red)
Give us a
reason not
to do the
same with
your head,
Iga.Iga:
Hem, err,
it’s some
device we
just
finished,
and...
heheh...
he got
pretty
excited
about
showing it
to you.
Could be
interesting,
he
said.
Stardust:
(kicks
Hunter’s
body)
Better be
a good
one.Hunter:
(with a
Screw
Crusher
blocked in
his head)
1T \/\/4s
t0 Re\/3r7
U5 b4cK To
0Ur
I-IuI\/IaN
f0rM5,
y’5E3...
Falling
Star:
Oh.
(throws
his boxing
gloves
away).
Mind to
show us
the
way?(They arrive in front of a shower-like machine, very similar to the one Wily used on the Mercs – see Epilogue 1)
Stardust:
You tested
it
yet?Hunter:
(now with
a heavily
bandaged
head) Once
or twice,
and it
works both
ways. Iga
will show
you.Iga:
Why
me?Naoshi:
(poking
Iga with
his spear)
Now.Iga:
(sighs)
Alright.
(walks in
the
machine).
Activate
Protocol
A.(The device now starts working, with lights flickering, and many flashes occurring. Then, it all stops, and a small monkey toy walks out.)
Iga: I feel weird.
Stardust,
Kayorei,
Shinobu,
Falling
star and
Naoshi:
Wow!Hunter:
I suppose
you all
want to
give it a
try?(After a few minutes, our seven friends are switched back to their original bodies.)
Kayorei:
Really
cool. Now
we can
walk out
incognito.
Shinobu:
I admit
it’s nice,
but, next
time you
wake us up
like this,
Hunter,
I’ll rip
your head
off.
Hunter:
Okay, it
was bad.
But what
about
having a
day-off?
Everyone:
Yeah!(Then, in town...)
Falling star: Okay, so no one will be afraid of us. What should we do?
Stardust:
What about
going to
the
movies?
They rerun
Forrest
Gump!Naoshi:
Cool!(Little did they know that someone was spying on them from a dark alley...)
“Raven”:
Are you
sure they
are our
targets?
“Sniper”:
Almost.
Now, if
only you
would give
me these
pictures
the doctor
gave
us...
“Armored”:
Ehhr...“Sniper”:
(sighs)
What
now?
“BigArm”:
Looks like
Mr Stupid
forgot
them.
“Knight”:
I hereby
claim that
this way
of act is
dishonored
for
us.“Sniper”:
Oh,
please,
don’t
start.
Luckily no
one
has...(Excuse me?)
“Sniper”:
...spotted
us yet.
Yeah, what
do you
want?(Would you give me your names? It’s all pretty boring to go with that nicknames. Besides, think of the readers.)
“BigArm”:
We have
readers
now?“Armored”:
Privacy of
unit:
violated.“Sniper”:
Okay,
let’s
present
us!
Riff:
My name’s
Riff, and
I’ll stuff
you full
of
lead!
Warpman:
You’ll get
a time of
pain, if
you forget
my name –
Warpman!
Staccato:
If thou
are no man
of honor,
suffer the
punishment
of
Staccato’s
blades!
Karasû:
A shadow
in the
night /
Holder of
the
raven’s
might /
Karasû!
Lento:
Unit Lento
will kick
your ass
fast.Riff:
Together
we form
the...
The
five of
them:
FATAL
FIVE!
(while
striking
an
awesome,
Sentaï-like
group
pose, and
the Boss
Theme
playing)(Wow. I mean... that’s cool and all, but your targets walked away.)
The
Fatal
Five:
*All
fall to
the
ground.*Riff:
Nevermind.
As you
heard,
they’re
going to
see that
movie.Warpman:
So?Riff:
We’ll trap
them
there!(Later, at the exit doors of the “Golden Gun”, the closest movie theater...)
Karasû:
Okay, that
trap is
finished.Lento:
Lento
requiring
explanation
of
device.Riff:
It’s all
simple.
Once the
Mercs walk
in here,
they’ll
activate
the
detectors,
and unlock
this small
catapult,
throwing
acid right
on
them.Staccato:
It
honestly
is a piece
of art,
but my
soul cries
at thee
display of
treachery.Warpman:
Shut
up.Karasû:
Here they
come!
Hide!Hunter:
Man, that
was
beautiful.Iga: This calls for an ice-cream!
The
Mercs:
Yeah!(At this time, they walked right into the Fatal Five’s detectors, and triggered... nothing.)
Karasû:
(from a
box)
Something’s
wrong.(Four boxes get into said zone.)
Warpman:
Not great,
mighty
leader.Riff:
Get lost,
mutie. I
see the
problem.Staccato:
And what
is it,
sir?Riff:
One of the
cables has
been
disconnected.
Luckily,
nothing
wrong can
happen,
right?Lento:
(close to
the
catapult)
Error:
cable is
disconnected.
Lento will
fix
this.Staccato,
Warpman,
Riff
and
Karasû:
NoOOOoooo...!!!!!
(get
covered by
acid. Poor
guys.)(Later, in the ice-cream store...)
Karasû:
I doubt
the
seriousness
of this
plan.Riff:
(dressed
as an
ice-cream
seller) It
will work!
We’ll make
their
seats
explode
while
they’re
eating
ice-cream!Kayorei:
Excuse me,
sir?Staccato:
(disguised,
too) What
could my
honourous
blade do
for such a
beautiful
damsel
like
thee?Kayorei:
Err...
Three
banana-splits,
two frozen
oranges, a
liégeois
chocolate,
and a
peach
melba,
please.Warpman
and
Lento:
(bringing
all of
this to
the Mercs’
table)
Here you
go,
people.Falling star: Thanks a lot, guys!
Riff:
(spying on
them from
the
backdoor)
They
started
eating,
and no
explosion
yet.Warpman:
Who was in
charge of
the bomb,
again?Staccato:
...
Oops.Karasû:
What
now?Staccato:
I
mistakenly
gave it to
Lento.(They all turn to Lento who is holding the bomb in his hand. Only 2 seconds before the explosion...)
Fatal
Five:
Run
away!KAAABBLOOOOOEEYYY!!!!!!!!!
(Later...)
Stardust:
These guys
really
know how
to make
ice
cream.Shinobu:
Sure. I
still
wonder why
there was
an
explosion
in their
back
room.Hunter:
(smiling)
Maybe they
were
preparing
a...
frozen
bomb?The
other
Mercs:
...Iga: Was it supposed to be a joke?
Hunter:
Screw
this.
Let's head
to the
mall.(Listening from a short distance, the Five prepare a new strategy. Don't give up, guys!)
Riff:
Okay, so
they'll
separate
once they
are in
this mall.
At that
time,
we'll
strike and
beat
them!Karasû:
Sounds
good, for
a
change.Riff:
I already
wrote down
the
strategies
you'll
use.
*hands
each of
them a
paper
sheet*Staccato:
These
methods
are deeply
confusing
my
thoughts,
for it
needs
strange
items. The
way of the
sword is
much more
successful.*warps*Warpman:
(wrecks
his paper)
Bah! I'll
do it my
way!
*warps*Karasû:
Not my
usual way,
but I'll
try.
*warps*Riff:
You done,
Lento?Lento:
Unit
received
blank
sheet.Riff:
...You're
reading
the
back.Lento:
Oh.(The Mercs separated in several groups. Let's follow them.)
Naoshi:
Sweet! A
new
Bomberman!Iga: And it has WiFi, too!
Staccato:
(All I
need to do
is to
charge at
these
foes, and
make them
feel the
mighty
wrath of
my blades)
Montjoie
Saint-Denis!
*charges
head-first,
but misses
the Mercs.
As he
continues
running,
he runs
out of the
store and
falls out
of the
gallery*Iga: (watching) We're at the fourth floor, aren't we?
Naoshi:
Ouch. I
still
wonder who
that
was.(Another shop, other Mercs!)
Kayorei:
Are you
sure we
need to
buy a new
computer
already?Shinobu:
This one
will be
for
checking
the
incomes
and
outcomes.
You
wouldn't
believe
how
expensive
it is to
live in a
battleship.Karasû:
(I'll
throw this
little
toy, and
it will be
a piece of
cake to
care of
those).
Hah!
*guess
what?
Smokebomb*
Now,
serious
business!
*inflames
his staff,
and
charges
his
victims*(There is something you forgot, guy: Do you have a way to see through the smoke?)
Karasû:
Uh-oh.
*Runs into
one of the
store's
giant
screens,
and gets
fried*Kayorei:
What was
that?Shinobu:
I dunno.
Some weird
ad, I
suppose.(Let's see another tentative, shall we?)
Falling star: Hey, they released a new Star wars DVD!
Stardust:
Meh. Star
Trek's
better.Riff:
Great.
Nerd
talk.Lento:
Lento will
smash nerd
Mercs!Riff:
'Kay. So
you stay
here and
shoot at
them with
that
Tractor
Beam,
while I
activate
this
meat-mincer!
Ready?Lento:
Err...Riff:
Go!Lento:
Can't
remember
what to
do!
Must...
charge!Riff:
Nooo! *hit
by Lento,
the two of
them run
in the
meat-mincer.
It hurts.
A
lot.*Falling star: Wow.
Stardust:
I didn't
know they
were doing
ads for
Saw 3
already.(Hey, one of each group is remaining! Let's find out what's happening!)
Hunter:
Camera
systems...
checked.
Micros...
checked.
Now, to
get this
back
home...Warp
Man:
Need
a hand,
"Quint"?Hunter:
(turns
back) What
are you
sayi...
oh, sweet
Miniguns!
You are
still
alive?Warp
Man:
The
Doctor was
very nice
to me. Now
that we're
alone, I
need to
discuss
some
things
with
you... and
I'll let
my bombs
speak for
me!
*shoots at
Hunter*Hunter:
*dodges
and runs
away*
Hell! Next
time I see
Wily,
he'll
suff...
*trips*Warp
Man:
*pointing
his bomb
launcher
at
Hunter's
head* Any
final
words?Hunter:
Err...
Yeah! When
was the
last time
you
checked
your
energy
gauge?Warp
Man:
...
Oops.
*deactivates
and falls
on the
ground*Hunter:
Luckily,
he still
has that
glitch.
*runs away
with his
goods*(Back in the Marauder...)
Kayorei:
That was a
really
fine day,
don't you
think?Stardust:
Indeed. We
should
thank
Hunter for
this.Naoshi:
...you
look
worried,
Hunter.Hunter:
Me? Oh,
it's
nothing.
Some old
friend I
met.
Nothing to
worry
about.Kayorei:
But,
didn't you
tell me
that...Hunter:
Nothing to
worry
about, I
say! Now,
step in so
that we
can switch
back to
our
armors.(This is how the day ends for the Mercs, but what about the Fatal Five?)
Riff:
*all
bandaged*
A failure.
A total
failure.Staccato:
Alas, I
incline to
agree
these were
hard
beginnings.Karasû:
At least,
we know
how our
targets
look like!
We'll go
and beat
them
another
day!Warp
Man:
Not
so sure. I
kinda feel
down after
these
defeats.Lento:
Fatal Five
not worthy
of villain
business.(Come on, guys! You can't let the readers like this! We need you!)
Riff:
Bah. Let
them find
other bad
guys.
We're not
good at
this.(Only one thing to do now)
Karasû:
Are you
sure?(Yeah.)
Karasû:
Okay.
Erm...
OUENDAAAAAAN!!!!!Ouendan Squad: *coming from nowhere* We're here to motivate you!
The
Five minus
Karasû:
o_0Ouendan Squad: *starts dancing and cheering the Five up*
Riff:
It... it
works!
*surrounded
by a
burning
aura*Staccato:
*with
flames in
his eyes*
My soul is
warmed by
the blaze
of a
thousand
suns!Warp
Man:
Next
time,
we'll beat
these
Mercs!The
Fatal
Five:
*while
striking
an awesome
pose*
YEAH!(So, everything goes fine for our two teams. See you next time, all!)
THE END
(PS: Play Ouendan. It's awesome.)